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August 18, 2012

My Banter from the Past ( 2012 ) -Part 1

As has been my practice , this is the summary of my own thoughts, ideas, humour in my own words, that I had written over the last 6 months .. My Banter from the past !!

I knew MasterCHEF India had changed our approach to food, when my daughter after being served her dish at an restaurant, noted, even before eating " I don't know about the taste, Dad, but the PRESENTATION is very nice" !!

People in whose company you don't feel like checking Facebook are the People whose company you should seek  !! .. How ruthlessly incisive !!!

I must be in 5th grade , one evening, after my Dad came from work and very unusual for those times, took us boys to watch 'The Guns of Navarone' at Rupam cinema, probably the only cinema in small town Baroda ,playing English movies those days.(circa -1984). I barely understood the dialogues, but that was the beginning of my love affair with war movies. It would be another 5 years before saw my second war movie " Escape from Sabibor" made for television movie shown on Doodarshan in parts on Friday nights. So it was a very enjoyable weekend as one local TV station aired back to back war movies -- "The Guns of Navarone" , "The Bridge on River Kwai", " Von Ryan Express", " Where Eagles dare ", " The Bridge at Ramagen", "Force 10 from Navarone" !!! Now let the march pass for the new year begin .. left-right-left

What matters, is not which place you travel to , but what you bring back from your travels !!!

Nothing binds people like booze,
Nothing divides people like an intellectual debate !!

Summer holidays during my school days , used to be quite dull .. so my mother , a teacher , used to teach me history in advance of the following academic year to keep me occupied . Her dramatic narrative, the story-telling style of teaching history , always embellished with appropriate geographical, geological, cultural references had such profound influence on me. That even 10 years after my mother retired ,as a principal of her school , I continue to be her student, wherever I go.  -- ---The only difference, instead of her, now I tell the Story !!!

Life offers no simple questions only intriguing ones -- What is more critical being honest with someone else or being honest with your ownself !!!

Just because someone shares a compassionate quote from Mother Teressa, does not necessarily mean they will treat you with any COMPASSION !!!

Mark Zuckenberg & Facebook are facing another legal challenge, this time from MARRIED MEN !! Based on a recent study that has revealed that facebook is the major cause for divorce of couples who are less than 30 years old. Men who are over 30 and have been married for longer are suing Mark for not launching Facebook earlier. hahahahahahhahah

Must be 7 years old, one evening, after school drama , my Dad & I were waiting for our car, I pointed to a boy from another class and told dad 'he looked really cute'. You should have seen my Dad, as if lightening had struck, so completely was he taken by surprise, unsure what to say, my Dad pointed to some STUPID planet in the night sky instead .. hahahha,, my Dad.. funny man .. I miss him ....... !!(You might recollect I had shared my reaction earlier this is what probably Sakshi might recollect & share when
she grows up :-)

Reports of US Congress enacting PIPA act to protect intellectual property has apparently reached the SOUTH POLE & the OUTER SPACE . In a bizzare development, that might put Hollywood studios out of business, all the PENGUINS have collectively decided to sue various Hollywood studies for an undisclosed sum for using their animation in movies without their due consent, thus infringing on their copyrights and violating their IP. The case is scheduled to come up for hearing on 24th of January in the district circuit court in lower Manhattan. In the meanwhile ALIENS are considering their own legal options !!!!

Humans, inspite of living a GREGARIOUS life from outside , are SOLITARY animals from within !

Everyday I am learning more trying to answer my daughter's questions, than I ever learned, answering any exam paper. Truly as children grow they offer their parents an opportunity at RE-EDUCATION !!

And this is the latest Sakshi question -- " Dad, if we evolved from monkeys into intelligent human beings, why havent other animals evolved too" !! ... any answers welcome !!!

The perfect recipe to lose someone is to tell them how much they mean to you !!

Latest one from Sakshi .. " Dad.. Jesus was born in Bethlehem and lived in Jerusalem,than why do we celebrate Christmas in England ?? ". -- Roman empire , Apostles spread the new religion across the Mediterranean, Constantine conversion to Christanity in 325 AD, thus speeding the spread of Christanity in the Roman empire of which southern England is a part. In 595 AD, St. Augustine arrives at Canterbury on the south-eastern coast of
England to expand the influence of Christanity amongst the Anglo Saxons, who rule England after the Romans depart. Anglo Saxon King converts and thus Christanity becomes the state religion of England and here we are 1400 years later, celebrating Christmas in England. Answering children tests our ability to be succinct. Too short and they think we are not taking their question seriously , too long and they will get disinterested in the answer.

My mother spend her childhood in Junagadh, used to narrate, how in 1948, they joyously welcomed tanks of Indian military on the streets of Junagadh. (to force Nawab to annex Junagadh to Indian union). When Chinese invaded in 1962, entire nation felt betrayed, everyone prayed for jawans fighting on the front. Many families in Baroda, like rest of country , prepared a traditional energy food called 'sukhadi' ( made up of Wheat, jaggery and clarified butter), it was collected & sent to the war front. In 1971 Indo-Pak war , all residents actively supported army in maintaining a total black-out over Baroda to prevent Pakistani airforce from locating the oil refinery based just a few miles away from the city. Shouldnt we feel outraged that today, WE as a nation remember our world cup victory in 1983 more than those wars we fought. We salute cricketers who won world cup in 2011 more than the soldiers who won us the Kargil War in 1999 !!!   OUR SOLDIERS DESERVE BETTER !!!

Other day Supriya told me " When we wives get -together we always talk about our husbands " !! And she teasingly added "what about you ?" With a straight face I answered " when we husbands get together, we always avoid any TRAGIC subjects !!!" hahahahhahahahahhaahha

Human folly ------ Whenever we receive annonymous comments / messages, we always think it to be from someone, we are longing to hear from the most !!

Live such a life that when you die, God gives you atleast, BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT !!

Hands that control the remote, rule the household !!!
 (And in most cases that is children)

We all hate Winters, but love the snow !!!

If you want to fall in love without ever getting heartbroken, LOVE NATURE !!

With life so full of upsets, set backs, rejections & dejections, "One Moment in Time" has been one of most inspiring songs for me. On so many a occasion, listening to this song gave me motivation, the drive to persevere. Will always remember Whitney for this song, which she performed live at the opening ceremony of Seoul Olympics in 1988. Song has been with me for over 15 years , moving from a cassette to a CD to mp3 format. .. the adrenalin rush , the energy I get listening to this song even today is beyond belief!!!

Destinations might come and go, but Destiny stays Forever !!!

Be wary of sharing deeper thoughts, with someone capable of only shallow thinking.

There was a book published in 2008 by an Indian author Anuradha Roy,though I never read it, somehow the title of that book has stayed with me ever since. Probably because that name captures the very essence of human existence . Title of the book -" The Atlas of Impossible Longing" !!

Best part of driving down the memory lane, there is no traffic !!

No one goes to a fashion show to watch the CLOTHES !!! Everyone goes to watch the WOMEN who wear them!! hahaha and we call it Being Human !!

It is a pardox of humankind that the humans flourished while humanity has since long perished !!

There is no point of simply earning more money if you havent LEARNED how to spend it !!

A Friend kept claiming to be very busy, I finally found out why, when he announced his wife was expecting !! :-)

African Tragedy -- The most richly endowed continent on the planet harbours the most impoverished people on Earth !!

Inst it an compelling anamoly that humans can be acutely lonely, inspite of the world teeming with people !!

PG-16 HUMOUR ------ Who says Pharmaceutical companies do not have a sense of humour, after all every medicine bottle comes with a naughty message " Shake well before use" !!! hahahhahahahhhahahahhaha

London Humour -- the 3 words that every Londoner is most likely to remember even in their AFTER LIFE --------- " MIND THE GAP" !!

Its better to have few friends and lot of friendship than to have lot of friends but very little friendship !!!

Year -1998, Mumbai -- Working as Sales Officer at Philips Lighting with Chetan P. Trivedi .
Philips had embarked on a nation-wide launch of high-tech energy saving CFLs (compact fluorescent lamps)in India. All the Philips distributors were invited for the launch extravangaza in a posh 5- Star hotel ballroom. No expense was spared, the CFL range had to create the best impression on distributors, persuade them to give large orders (mind you CFL's were just being launched in India & cost @ 300rs apiece). Show began, curtains raised & stunningly good looking models draped in white chiffon gowns ,holding lit CFL Lamps in their hands, walked down the aisles. The models were so gorgeous that I hardly noticed anyone paying attention to the lamps, state-of -the-art 21st century lighting technology was no match for human instinct. hahahahah In the end the event was a grand success , most distributors gave large orders though I doubt if they were sold on the technology !!!!

Sakshi's latest poser .. " Dad, shouldnt we be able to see BLACK HOLES in space easily during day time. when the entire sky is bright & blue ?? "" ...... any suggestion how I can answer this ??

A glorious HEARTENING love song in a movie that is HEARTRENDING !!! With a message that will resonate with every living being that has lived & loved .... lovers might fail but love never does !! Movie is beautifully scripted with life & love deeply intertwined. but love does not work out for any chracters in the movie and there in lies the beauty of this song ,, it brings certain dignity to their love even if it was spurned,

Intelligence is God given, but Initiative is man made !!

Good looks are God given, but Great Attitude is entirely man-made !!

One of the most important things in life to have a sense of closure !!!

Our life should NEVER follow the law of diminishing return.

No amount of medication will remedy a patient in need of surgery,likewise no amount of superficial change will do , when we are in need of fundamental change to our lives. Sometimes no amount of incremental change would do, we need to take an exponential leap forward... ...... (a belief I have lived for better part of my life)

I truly felt letting society decide whom should be your soulmate was not a fair system, with the proliferation of the matrimonial sites on the internet, Marriage has truly been DEMOCRATIZED . Now the potential value of the prospective bride or groom is not determined by the society or marriage bureaus but by the MARKET. And neither does society or grography limit your reach. I know what some of you married folks are thinking.. wish Tim Bernes Lee ( inventor of the world wide web) was born 10 years earlier.  :-)

Another poser from Sakshi .. " Dad, why does Bear Grylls ( Discovery - Man vs Wild, Born Survivor), recommends when you have limited drinking water, you should plan to drink it small quantities to keep yourself hydrated for as long as possible. But, Dad -- " what if he drinks all the water at once, it will still be in his stomach" ??  ... what an logical question !! :-)

On Mothers day narrating this incident from my childhood .....

One day in 4th grade, while walking to my tuition class thru some back lanes, I found currency notes worth 30
ruppees lying on the street. In the 80's , for Rs. 30 one could buy a children cricket bat and for a lower middle class family like ours it was a luxury we could not afford. So my plan was to persuade my parents to buy that bat showing them this small treasure I had stumbled upon. Gleefully I picked up that money. Evening I narrated this and showed the money to my mom. She gave me a slap on my check and gave me an ultimatum , either I drop back that money where I found ( least someone who had lost it came searching for it) or to drop it in the collection box of an temple -Ram mandir near by. With a heavy heart I walked up to the temple , begged God to forgive me, and dropped that money in the collection box. That episode taught me the value of hard work and first deserving what I desire, never to expect any free lunches in life, but to work for it.

Crushing of the Ego (1997-98) --Traveling in the Mumbai suburban trains killed whatever was left of my ego. When you get pushed & squeezed along with millions of other commuters, crushed to the bones, there is no ego; you realize how insignificant you are in this vast humanity. Whether you earn a dime or a dollar, it really doesn’t
Yesterday while watching a documentary on Mumbai suburban railway got to know the official scientific name
for that experience -- SUPER- DENSE-CRUSH- LOAD !!!
If anyone has an ego problem, strongly recommend this experience. There is a reason why Crush is a part of that
term :-) !!!

Most of our news channels dish our such depressing news of our country that occasionally I just swtich over to watch the news on Doordarshan !!!

For me a rejuevating vacation is the one from which I come back not completely relaxed but utterly exhausted !!!

No one can OUTSMART their destiny !!

One does not need to be well-informed, one needs to be simply CURIOUS !!
Having gone to a Gym in 4 different countries , I can tell you with confidence that the Gym Instructors are the same everywhere. Even when a (male) trainee gets injured no instructors will bother to check but a women trainee, even when she simply laugh, the insturctors will rush in a split second, volunteering to help and give advise !!!! (And usually I have a tough time concealing my laughter)

In a life & career fraught with upsets & set-backs, April 2007 marked an unusual month.In a rare case of recognition, received an double promotion from Manager to Assistant Vice President. Very few employees in the history of GE Capital/ GECIS have had this distinction of being given a double promotion (I have been told) !! That was exactly 5 years ago !! April 1 at 12:48pm ·

Recent survey has revealed that more MEN cry on their wedding day than WOMEN !! hahahahahhahaah :-)

Secret of being a good photographer -- once you realize that the way you view the world is more beautiful / European countries in a bid to reduce costs have decided to withdraw their under cover intelligence agents based at that Embassies in India. Press release by the Brussels headquartered EU stated " When the Indian MEDIA itself is doing such an outstanding job of sharing confidential INSIDE information, why do they need any undercover agents" !!

Sakshi " Dad , did the Romans rule our Egypt ?? " . I " Yes they did, but why are you asking?" . Sakshi " Dad, because in the school , I told the class, that when I grow up , I want to be a Scientist and reserach How Romans came to rule over Egypt " .  :-)

Life is all about Motivation, Motivation, Motivation !!!!

Latest interesting poser from Sakshi " Dad when we blow a balloon, does it get filled with Carbondioxide or Air ?? " !! Makes one think ,inst it :-)

Many of you might be wondering.. what's behind these insane number of photos I share, well let me tell you a little secret ... they are all part of my retirement plan !! Yes, when I am too old & infirm to travel .. I can still keep travelling , -- thanks to the monstrous archive of pictures & its narrative .. I can keep travelling to these places , finding new meaning, reliving that experience .. several times over .. at no extra cost !! How about that :-)

While there has been a STEEP DECLINE in the reading habit of most humans , there has been a SHARP INCREASE in the sale of books, a telling sign of the human tendency to show-off !

If PAST GLORY was reason enough to ensure our FUTURE SUCCESS , than by now NEANDERTHAL's would have made a spectacular comeback !!

A highly confidential memo circulated within Australian Cricket Board that got leaked to the press had concluded that " the BEST thing that ever happened to AUSTRALIAN cricketers was the INDIAN Premeir League " !! hahahhahahah

You cannot become an Adult without going thru the pangs of Adolescence. !!!

In life it does not matter, whether you have fame or fortune, what matters is whether you have a COMPELLING STORY to tell !!!
(Sharing one of my old quote , the way my life is progressing it affirms this belief :-)
Most observers have a misguided notion about the excessive usage of Facebook or any other social media, because, while it is certainly a sign of a growing RESTLESS society, it is not a CAUSE for it. !!

If you felt only US Govenment was capable of conducting undercover operations on its people, think again, this plot from India could be right out of a John Grisham thriller.

Investigater in search of causes for sky-rocketing prices of ONIONS stumbled upon a HIGHLY CLASSIFIED
government run undercover operation. Deep inside the government machinery, hidden from the public scrutiny, is a unsuspectingly named Department of Social Change. For the past decade ,DSC has been studying the complex problem of population explosion. In 2010 they made a major breakthrough, using the processing capability of C-DAC super computers, they established a direct correlation between the population growth and increased consumption of ONIONS in India. (Onions are a natural aphrodisiacs). With that finding, government set up a clandestine cell,(codenamed - TN32), with officers drawn from the Commerce & Agriculture ministry. And began to conduct secret field trials in the summer of 2011 by manipulating the prices of Onions , thus reducting the consumption of onions and hoping (yes you got it), that it will lower population growth.Weather the government was succcessful in its motive ??? .... to be continued :-)

I certainly havent got the best Life !! But I will make certain to get the BEST out of whatever Life I got !!

Live such an Life, that when you die, even if you dont have a house full of luxuries, you have mind full of memories !!!

Best part of driving down the memory lane, there is no traffic !!

Intelligence is God given, but Initiative is man made !!

Its better to have few friends and lot of friendship than to have lot of friends but very little friendship !!!

There is no point of simply earning more money if you havent LEARNED how to spend it !!

Age of mystery, dawn of man;
new awakening from the darkest end:
Weary warrior mounted on a charging chariot
to fight another battle in a distant land !

Whether he rises from the ashes,
does all proud;or it is a ' coup de grace':
only time will tell, alone time can tell !

(a verse I wrote to my beloved team in 2008 when I left for Mexico, after an especially difficult period in my life.
But somehow this verse continues to have the same relevance to me today as I did 4 years ago) !!! Weary warrior .. continues to fight !

'PUZZLING' tears is the way my daughter Sakshi, described her tears, while boarding her flight to Baroda for the Summer holidays ! She was confused whether to be excited about meeting her aba-aji , atya, kaka-kaku, Sarthak dada, mama , nana-nani & large extended family or sad about missing her Dad for a month !! PUZZLING Tears ... what an original expression to describe such a complex feeling !! :-)

Even that Love, which was REJECTED, deserves DIGNITY !!

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