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May 8, 2010

letter of hope !!!

As I reflect on the letter written 2 years ago, it reaffirms my belief in the mysteries of our life, and the eventual conquest of Hope over despair -- a letter of hope !

From: Konnur, Samir (Penske)
Sent: Friday, June 13, 2008 8:45 AM

To: TMS Team

Subject: the End of History !!!

A little less than three years ago.. a group travelled .. it was a slightly overcast evening,,, the flight was already delayed by an hour.. they eagerly awaited the boarding announcement . .. as they all headed for an uncertain future ahead of them ….. but that was 'just the beginning' of a remarkable journey…. most of you joined them in that quest in the months to follow.. the day 30th June - year 2005. ( the rest as they say is history…)

Now three years later, that journey that we all began together is coming to an end for me … the End of History !!!

(As it is my farewell note from TMSS to the original TMS LP Team -- taking liberty of writing a rather lengthy one, so read it at leisure)


legacy for life

It would be an understatement to call the last 6 months since my return from US, challenging, because they weren't, they were brutal. Settling back in yet another project, I realized that my role offered very limited challenge but severe limitations. Inspite of making desperate attempts to keep my 'grey cells' engaged it was not to be …

• Passport blues -- a US trip was exactly ' what the doctor prescribed' .. but my renewed passport which was supposed to be dispatched on 25th April, has not appeared on my door step till date . Following up on my passport at the passport office was one of the most harrowing, depressing experience in recent memory. And that delay costed me dearly and threw a wrench in all my plans.

When the force of destiny collides with your dreams, sometimes resistance in futile !!! But the most enduring legacy of the past 6 months is the erosion in my self-respect, as I was forced to 'stay-put' as a guest inspite of being a 'persona non- grata'

Somehow I kept up the spirit by dressing-up.. that was the only way I could express defiance to my destiny instead of totally succumbing to it. I fought the blues (literally) with every color in my arsenal (wardrobe). Though it offered me little inner solace... but for so many people who looked upto me for inspiration.. it made a difference… so I put up a dazzling show of confidence on the outside.. while from inside I was pretty much finished… long back…… the cookie had crumbled !!!!

Career interrupted…learning curve falls thru the floor

Nothing can be more punishing than to sleep without a dream and wake up without a goal

As I kept exploring roles post my third rotation .. it was unnerving. Over the last few months opportunities across the world materialized … Bangalore, Mexico, Gurgoan , Philippines.. but by the time I prepared myself & my family for relocating, it fizzled out

Every time I thought it was the beginning of the end, it was merely the end of the beginning.

'after leaving my baggage in the stationary train, I disembarked to buy something. I returned to find... the train had started. And inspite of my best efforts, it left , leaving me stranded on the platform' . And I woke up , pulse racing, sweating profusely, panic stricken.. and it happened with alarming frequency.

Close friends who inquired I just had one message ' es raat ki subah nahi' , and as the stalemate extended from days to weeks to months,, the message changed to ' es raat ki subah hi nahi'

Reason for sharing with all of you ….

Crest & troughs in life are inevitable. and we have to take them in our stride. You can run from your karma but you cant hide. So each one of you will go thru the same ebb & tide but never lose hope and surround yourself with friends who believe in you. In every moment of trial there is an inherent triumph. For me that was triumph of friendship. Because it was that fabric of friendship,, that cheer, warmth from so many of you that helped me kept going. (And still does)

And I am so grateful for spending time with me helping me deal with it , the release of emotions thru the sluice gates protected the dam from bursting , it helped steady the ship as it was being ravaged by storms and rocked by the high seas.

Pick up the pieces..

The Ferrari of the mind that I drove back from US hit so many brick-walls in the past 6 months that it has shattered into a million pieces, only remnants left. And I have no illusion of what it will take me to pick up the pieces… and redeem myself. But it is not possible without the well-wishes of the team who meant & gave me so much , so as to have changed the course of my life. So please Wish me luck…

Today the clock turns backward by 3 years and on 30th June 2008 I start another journey all over again, albeit alone !! ( On 30th June my third rotation and role in the BCP project for TMSS officially ends, severing the umbilical cord forever.)

But I leave TMSS with no regrets for I am enriched beyond measure for the time I have spend with such wonderful people.

And end the note with a 'last 'thank you' salute' to all of you. THANK YOU ALL