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February 1, 2011

My Banter from the past !! ( 09-10)

How do you win a India vs. China debate for sure .... China to India " mere pass infrastructure hay, FDI hay, Forex reserves ($ 2 Trillion) hay, tumhare pass kya hay ?" India " Mere pass, mere pass DEMOCRACY hay" !!!!
July 28,2009

Spirituality is a science, whose laws are yet to be discovered
July 31, 2009

I feel like my life is a BIG WIP (Work in Progress), and I love it that way.
August 5, 2009

Life begins at 30 !! And today I am 4 years old .......
August 9, 2009

The problem with emotional baggage is you cant 'CHECK IN'.
August 12, 2009

Now they are intensely speculating on the end of recession. A recession that was caused by speculation in the first place.
August 20, 2009

No amount of medication will remedy a patient in need of surgery. Likewise no amount of superficial change will do , when we are in need of fundamental change to our lives.
September 13, 2009

Each one gets to be the protagonist of their own lives. Isnt that wonderful, no screen tests, no rehearsals, just one chance to give it your best shot !!!
September 23, 2009

A stingy heart makes for a lousy leader.
November 3, 2009

Inst the art of 'moving on' one of the most difficult art to master !!! (No doubt there are no coaching classes for it )
January 15, 2010

In life it doesnt matter if you have fame & fortune , what matters is do you have a compelling story to tell ............. your story !!
February 16, 2010

Wash room etiquette # 4 in the Rest room at my office ------------Please collect your belongings when you leave the rest room................. I always laugh reading this .. as if someone had an option !!!!!! hahaha
February 20,2010

If its 'all in the mind' why do we have Global Warming ? (Earth doesnt get it or what ??)
February 28, 2010

Not sure if the science behind Earth Hour is that impeccable,utility companies dont stop powerplants generating electicity, the real cause of carbon emissions.. and we cannot store power .. by just shutting off the usage for an hour .. we might be wasting that power.. rather use electicity judiciously every day than putting the power grid thru this one-hour flash FAST ,then overloading it when everyone turn on the lights
March 27, 2010

Frankly there are just a few things money can buy.. for everything else is in the state of our mind !!!!
March 30 ,2010

At a touch of love, everyone becomes a poet; at a touch of pain, everyone a philosopher !!!!! Aint life beautiful .. it leaves you enriched .. either way :-)
April 14, 2010

Cricketing humor ##
Indian teams consistent failure in the Caribbean has prompted the ICC to deliberate whether to allow any major cricketing tournaments to be hosted there in the future.
May 9 ,2010

What did a Gujarati businessmen say refusing to tip on visiting a strip club in US " khali jova na paisa na hoy " ( there can be no cost just to see )hahahahaha
May 18 ,2010

Happily ever after ... is a myth !! As the only one who can positively ascertain this would have to be dead .
May 28 ,2010

Passion is like the difference between ' having sex' and 'making love'. In both end result is the same, but how you go about doing it makes all the difference ........ hahaha
June 9, 2010

90 mins of a football game can teach us more about leadership,coaching,teamwork & dynamics, strategy,competition analysis,game plan, SWOT at play et al thn any mgmt program.But it also makes us realize the imp of luck (& sometimes misfortune of our opponents) in our success .So next time u watch a match, thk abt 2 org's competing in the marketplace, while you will still enjoy the game, it wld make for some amazing learning.
July 4, 2010

Would always prefer being a good man over being an great man !!! Best part being there is so little competition !!! :-)
July 7 ,2010

When relationship's go sour .. there are no winners !!!
July 13, 2010

Read a joke in a Gujarati Newspaper :
A circular has been sent out from the US Embassy to inform all Gujaratis : PLEASE DONT APPLY FOR H1N1 .. IT IS NOT A VISA !!! hahahhahahahhahah
July 23, 2010

Give a man a thought & you solve his problem for a day, teach a man to think & you solve his problem for lifetime.
July 30, 2010

Anyone who knows how a water turbine works, would realize the unlimited potential of generating electricity by installing miniature turbines in the men's washroom... think about it!!!! haha
August 4, 2010

How everything is interconnected, theorem from the summary of my 4 previous
Irreduciby complex = (proves) Intelligent Design
Intelligent Design = (presence of) God

...Love is God (Anybody has a problem with that ?? )
Love = Intelligent Design
Love = Irreducibly Complex
(Anybody disputing this thoerem ??)
September 2, 2010

If there ws one tradition tht undeniably tied all of us together, an inheritance that no othr civilization could claim to have -- the great Indian tradition of Antakshari !And how I lament its loss for the future generations . whether its becoz of senseless lyrics or too much music or many distractions etc .. in my opinion .. our generation probably would be the last to enjoy this incredible family sport ...
September 7, 2010

It is time we increased the combined wisdom of ths world by contributing to the most important laws of the Universe -- Murphy's laws !
Muphy's law of Airport - If you are the first one scrambling to deplane , you will be the last one to receive your bag on the baggage converyer belt...hahaha ...(Truly there is a hidden Muphy each one of us )..
September 8, 2010

Have u ever visited the magnificient forts of the Rajputs, grand forts of the Mughals, impressive hill-top fortifications of Marathas, and numerous other forts build by various dynasties- Golkonda, Gwalior, Jhansi.. ...and did you ever thought........ever question...... were the hell these Kings use to go to shit ??? (defecate)(No tourist -guide has ever answered ths question, if u hv the answer, do share)
September 10, 2010

Have you ever noticed a fly that gets locked in your car along with u, can maintain the same position in flight relative to us even while the car is moving & does not crash into anything. For the fly to be able to do that it would have to essentially travel at the speed at which the car is travelling .. but how does it know at wht speed to fly to counter the speed of the car ?
September 11, 2010

For all those desperate to find who visited their profile .. I have a better idea .....forget the profile, SEE WHO IS THINKING ABOUT YOU !!!!

Simple 2 steps to sign up
like this post
Share it with 5 friends
And Bingo you will know who is thinking about you right now.. ITS WORKING
hahahahahahh this is is called MINDBOOK !!!! :-)
September 16, 2010

Recently, I have been alarmed by the loss of a Hindi colloquial passed on by our ancestors - "line marna". Though its origins are unknown,lost to history, what we do know is its mention in our ancient scripts dating bck to 16th Century verse most celebrated of which you would have read in school:

"Chitra-dhoot ke ghat par
lagi santan ki bheed;
'line mari ' Tulsidas ne
pakde gaye Kabir"

pls help restore ths phrase to its former glory
September 20, 2010

Interesting joke: Parental Guidance advised: PG 16 !!

U.S. President Calvin Coolidge and his wife allegedly visited a poultry farm. During the tour, Mrs. Coolidge inquired of the farmer how his farm managed to produce so many fertile eggs with such a small number of roosters. The farmer proudly explained that his roosters performed their duty dozens of times each day. "Tell that to Mr. Coolidge," pointedly replied the First Lady.
The President, overhearing the remark, asked the farmer, "Does each rooster service the same hen each time?""No," replied the farmer, "there are many hens for each rooster."
"Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge," replied the President. hahaha And this phenomenon has a scientific name its called Coolidge effect :-)
September 25, 2010

Last time we spoke about Murphys laws, the most imp laws of the Universe, this time we talk of Dilbert principles .. the most profound, this one is my contribution to this wise body of knowledge -
When u work in an organization u are always told to be rational, data-driven, objective and not get emotional. So whn objectively thinking you do decide to quit , all sorts of emotional arguments are made to retain you.
September 26, 2010

THE DILBERT DILEMMA (based on a true story) : Dont attend weekly staff meetings and you will be labelled insubordinate, attend them regularly and you will be labeled unoccupied.
Ideas to solve this universal real life dilema are very welcome ??
September 29, 2010

Koi sawal chhota nahi hota" series of commercials for KBC 4 made me remember my engineering days .. had a penchant for asking the most unusual questions.. so much so that my friends renamed me.... "?amir" .. instead of 'Samir'.
Still remember one incident when my thermal engineering professor was explaining the phenomenon of "knocking" ...inside spark-ignited internal combustion engines, also called "Pinking" as the flames inside the engine appear pink in color during knocking. My question.. .....AS THE ENGINE CYLINDER IS MADE UP OF METAL AND IS OPAQUE, HOW DID WE PEEP INSIDE TO FIND OUT THAT THE FLAMES WERE PINK IN COLOR ?
Professor gave me a classical answer " This question is not in the syllabus"
September 30, 2010

1000 years from now when the historians of that day write about their ancestors, instead of using BCE /CE (Before Common Era /Common Era) for numbering years they would use year 1969 to reset the history of mankind.. the year that ARPA network, the precursor of the Internet went live. Years prior to 1969 would be called BIE /AIE - (Before Internet Era / After Internet Era) .. this is because Internet would have had more profound impact on human evolution that any other event preceding here is my slogan for the future ...
I was liberated by the Internet
October 1, 2010

Age of mystery, dawn of man;
new awakening from the darkest end:
Weary warrior mounted on a charging chariot
to fight another battle in a distant land !

Whether he rises from the ashes,
does all (of you) proud;or it is a ' coup de grace':
Only time will tell, alone time can tell !

October 29, 2010

Had dropped in the office in the evening for some work today, part of my team was in the office to practice for a upcoming dance contest .. was mildly surprised to see them hunkered in the conference room on a conference call. And was further astonished to find that they were on a conference call with the CHOREOGRARAPHER .. learning dance steps thru a conference call .. what imagination@work hahahhahah :-)
November 13, 2010

last minute conflict in my mind whether to address the audience as ESTEEMED or DISTINGUISHED .. led me stating " its a great honour addressing such an EXTINGUISHED audience " hahahah how our mind works ...
November 15, 2010

While driving to work today, saw a man riding his bicyle precariously thru a potholed road, while holding an open umbrella in one hand... funny thing is it had already STOPPED raining. I felt it was such a telling sign of human behavour once in the comfort zone under our umbrellas, so often we mis to notice tht enviornment around us has changed . we hold on . to past -grudges, hurt just like that bicycle man ..
November 17, 2010

Sometimes we find pearls of wisdom in most unlikely places .. from all the slapstick comedy of Dabangg .. I found this opening dialogue for Rajo (Sonakshi Sinha) so very insightful, so acutely wise " थप्पड़ से दर नहीं लगता साहब, प्यार से लगता है " because hate does not hurt us ,but when people who cared for us once, stop caring, hurts the most "थप्पड़ से दर नहीं लगता साहब, प्यार से लगता है !!" .. so true
November 26, 2010

अगर दुनिया में सब कुछ माया है !!! फिर Facebook पर क्यों आया है !!!!
December 1, 2010

I don't know of anyone who writes a diary, not longing that someone will walk into their life eager to read their dairy one day !!
December 3, 2010

Shakespeare Tales -- an initiative we launched to promote conversation in English on our shop-floor is yielding unexpected benefits --it has reduced squabbles within the teams, as team-mates arent able to recollect the relevant English words to argue with each other hahahahhahahah
December 4, 2010

My superior once lectured me " Samir you should look at the BIG picture of the business & industry" . I retorted " Boss you should look at the even BIGGER picture of Life & the Universe "
(Though in my opinion we shld look at all the pictures -if you dont work with passion - ur business, u wont earn enough money buy an expensive telecope to look at the Universe :-))
December 5, 2010

How can we trust our Government to run the affairs of such a vast & complex country.. if they are NOT even competent enough to conceal THEIR OWN SCAMS that too from an internal auditor. hahaha
December 9, 2010

On occasion of ANTI-CORRUPTION DAY being observed on 9th Dec , Government has sent out a STRONGLY WORDED MEMO to all its departments WARNING them to be "MORE VIGILANT from being caught in any corruption scandal". A highly placed Government source who did not wish to be identified stated explaning the memo tht Government is helpless in stopping corruption so the least it could do is prevent it from being exposed.
December 10, 2010

Recently on a call , airline executive read out my ticket PIN - T for Tom, S for Steve, R for Romeo, Z for Zebra, H for Heart, O for Oscar (TSRZHO) & I thought why are we still STUCK with American names in our domestic call centers ? It should be - T for Tendulkar, S for Sehwag, R for Raina,Z for Zaheer , H for Harbhajan ,O for Ozha .. haha or T for Tushar , S for Sha sha sha sharukh ..hhahaha. any other ideas ??
December 14, 2010

Bhagawat Gita adopted for Modern times:
कृष्ण भगवान ने प्रकट हो कर, हारे हूए मजनू से कहा
" हटा सावन की घटा, ये वाली नही तो कोई दुसरी पटा"

(Third chapter - Way of Action, Verse # 18, Modern Bhagawat Gita) how relevant :-)
December 21, 2010

Bhagawat Gita adopted for Modern times:
कृष्ण भगवान ने प्रकट हो कर, समाज से डरे हूए लाचार लोगों से कहा
"माम्मैया केरो केरो,केरो मामा
माम्मैया केरो केरो,केरो मामा
दुनिया माने बुरा तो गोली मारो
डर के जीना भी कोई जीना यारो
यारो पे सदा जान करो फ़िदा
दुश्मन को ये बता दो दुश्मनी हे क्या"

(5th Chap -Address to Arjun # 7, Modern Bhagawat Gita) 1985 Sunny Doel staring movie Arjun used ths verse in its songs :-)
December 22, 2010

Apples are quite a Happy ,Cheerful lot these days. After years of being an outcast amongst the Fruits & Vegetables family for being way too expensive and out of reach for most ordinary Indians, finally Apples have company - that too a zesty girlfriend - The Onions. However this has not gone unnoticed amongst the Potates, who feel dumped by thier long-time companion.
December 27, 2010

Dilbert's law of appraisal - If someone is loaded with work - tell them "you are not delegating effectively". If someone is delegating effectively - tell them " you are not getting into the details, you are not hands on" hahahahahahha . HR policies might differ but Dilbert's laws are truly Universal. hahahahahahha Please share your Dilbert story :-)
December 30, 2010

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